Coffee, Marriage and Wild Complexity, Part 2, by Betty Mason Arthurs
Slow Roasted…Full of Flavor
Couples will tell you brewing a good marriage takes time. We learned to slow roast our lives with laughter in spite of our disagreements over finances, kids, illness, bills, pets, etc. Most important, we learned to pray and attend church. Consumed with our own problems, we prayed a lot of “help us” and bless us” prayers, but our church family encouraged us to think about and help others.
What adds full-bodied flavor to a marriage? A kiss, understanding, unselfish acts, and hugs add a soothing sweetness through the tough times. Laughter often brings us instant relief from joy-stealing toxins. One time our van broke down. We fixed it and it broke down again. Johnny and I stomped outside and stared at the stupid thing and asked each other, “What are we gonna do?” Johnny kicked a rear tire. Yelping, he hopped around holding his injured foot, while I collapsed in laughter. He worked in a tire store which made his antics hilarious and unforgettable. We paid mega bucks to repair Stupid but she ran for five more years.
Our friends, married over 50 years, are fanatical baseball fans. In the past all their family vacations were planned around games in different states. However, Donna’s a Detroit Tiger fan and Gary cheers for the Boston Red Socks. For them, competitive spirits are slow roasted and add spicy, fun flavor to a marriage.
Overtones of Wild Complexity
Overtones are extra notes often heard during a musical performance even though no one is singing or playing them. There’s something ethereal about harmonic, beautiful tones higher than an earthly instrument can reach. It’s true of marriage…supernatural harmony can create amazing love and intimacy only you as a couple can reach on this earth.
I like the words written in The Living Insights Study Bible, edited by Charles Swindoll. In the introduction to Song of Songs it says:
“We should joyfully participate in the intimacy God has provided in
and through our spouse. Such romance and intimacy involves care,
conversation, respect and physical satisfaction in the arms of your
beloved. All our interplay and intimacy helps to build a strong marriage.
When you discover this beautiful romance in a marriage relationship,
you will enjoy a rare gift indeed!”
Pleasurable Taste…Slightly Sinful
When we go out for coffee my favorite is café mocha. John likes coffee any way he can get it and has added chai tea to his favorites. But what is pleasurable is to simply hang-out and reminisce and enjoy our time together. We remember the pure pleasure we experienced when we first cuddled our newborn daughter and son. Now we talk a lot about our grandkids.
What about the “slightly sinful” part in the description of Huckleberry coffee as it relates to marriage? John and I have guarded our relationship like it is a priceless jewel and that includes protecting the trust we have in one another. For some, sin may be an out-dated word, and used in a funny way when describing this coffee. However, I think no other word describes the poisons that can creep in to destroy a love birthed in two lovers’ hearts many years ago. Forgive one another often and hold on to God’s help…forever.
Our lived have changed over the years and our marriage is bold and complex, slow roasted, full of flavor with overtones of wild complexity. It’s been a crazy almost 50 year ride—a ride during which we slurp from cups which overflow with love for each other.
We’re still on a bumpy journey that we wouldn’t trade for all the Wild Huckleberry coffee in Alaska.