Trusting Him in the Dark, Judy Robertson

 

IMG_0234Where was the husband I once had? It all seemed so unreal. Jim, the in-charge work-a-holic, now was unable to add numbers or take care of his own personal needs. It had only been three years since Jim was given the devastating diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. Our fifty-three years of marriage seemed as though it had ended. Our relationship, once intertwined by adventures, life events, three children and ten grandchildren had now come unraveled. We were pulled apart by this disease that destroys brain cells causing a person to make irrational judgments and tearing the personality to bits and pieces. One of the hardest parts of this journey is not knowing what will come next. But one thing we are told is sure, it will get worse—darkness.

Four a.m. Fearing the worst, I awakened thinking about how Jim had fought the two caregivers the previous evening. Dawn and Christina were trying to get his wet briefs off to put dry ones on. He wasn’t having any of it and the caregivers were struggling. This was new. Jim had always been cooperative with those who came in to help in any way. Was this a new trend? Is he moving into a belligerent stage?

After warming a cup of milk, I sat propped up in bed with my Bible on my lap, looking for comfort. These were verses that brought comfort:

“God is love” “There is no fear in love” (1 John 4:16,18 NIV).
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
“God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind” (1 Timothy 1:7).
“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way” (2 Thessalonians 3:16).

So many places in His Word God says, do not worry, do not be anxious. He wants us to trust Him at all times and through everything. He gives us peace. That peace comes from knowing He has everything under His control. He is Sovereign.

Charles Swindoll wrote about Job and why he didn’t become bitter through all his heartache:
1. Job claimed God’s sovereignty. “Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?” (Job 2:10).
2. He counted on the promise of resurrection. “I know that my Redeemer lives” (Job 2:10).
3. He confessed his own lack of understanding. “Surely I spoke of things I did not understand” (Job 42:3). “Job confessed his inability to get it all together. God would judge. The Judge would be right,” Swindoll said of Job. (P.648, Senior’s Devotional Bible, Zondervan Publishing House).

A.W. Tozer says regarding Proverbs 3:5 to “Trust Him in the dark.”“With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all God’s creatures.” (P.778, Senior’s Devotional Bible, Zondervan Publishing House).

Pondering this difficult part of our lives, I prayed, O God, surely there is a better way. I see Jim suffer and I don’t know what to do, how to help. As Job confessed his inability to put it all together, so I confessed my own powerlessness to make things right for Jim. And when I confess this inability to make things right I am reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” (emphasis added).

To trust completely in Him is the greatest challenge of our lives. But it is also the most rewarding when we are able to let go of our “own understanding” and acknowledge the power of God in our lives. He is able.

“…Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day” (2 Timothy 1:12).

The Infinite God guards us and carries us through our darkest night to the place where His light is revealed and we are no longer afraid.

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About Judy Robertson

Judy Robertson is an author, speaker, and teacher and co-founder with her late husband, Jim, of Concerned Christians, an outreach ministry to Mormons and an equipping arm of the Body of Christ. As Christian missionaries, Jim and Judy lived in the South Pacific islands of Samoa and Tonga for 7 years. Judy is currently writing about their adventures.
This entry was posted in Faith, Family Life, Grief, Overcoming Fear and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Trusting Him in the Dark, Judy Robertson

  1. Debbie Wagoner says:

    Judy, Tozer is one of my “go to” theologians. He conveys God’s word in a way that I can understand. And you also shed light on God’s word. The three of us were just sitting here reflecting on the very subject of resting in God’s peace. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Judy Robertson says:

      Hi Debbie, thanks so much for your comment. So special to hear the three of you were reflecting on this subject right now. I love being in the loop with you.

      Like

  2. Thank you, Judy, for your honesty and wisdom. Surely this essay will be helpful to many people. God bless and keep you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Peggy Levesque says:

    Judy, this is a wonderful reminder that we have a God who wants us to let Him handle all those troubles over which we have no control. Thank you for sharing your heart in such a moving way. You will touch many lives with your wisdom and experience, especially at this time of year when so many grieve the recent loss of a loved one. Bless you.

    Like

    • Judy Robertson says:

      Thank you, Peggy. And yes, many do grieve this time of year, it seems, while others are finding joy in the Christmas season. But our God is sovereign and is able to pull us through the hardest times.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. candtmom1965 says:

    Thank you for sharing Judy. This “package” of scripture is very encouraging and EMPOWERING! Thank you for sharing your struggles so others may be helped. Love you!

    Like

  5. dgood648 says:

    Judy, what words of encouragement you have written–not just for those going through illnesses with loved ones, but for those facing ANY trial. Thank you for writing this. God bless you, dear friend!

    Like

  6. This is a horrible disease!!!!!
    I went thru this – my husband’s journey on earth ended a little over 3 years ago. It was the toughest thing I have ever been through. It is always encouraging to realize you are not alone – and that others made it through this journey. I could never have made it through without the good Lord in my life and on my side.
    I also grieve – especially during the holidays and special dates, but am so blessed that my husband is healed and someday I will see him again! I am thankful for God’s timing – but miss him immensely! My husband passed at 65 years of age, his funeral was on his 66th birthday!
    Thank you for your encouraging words!

    Like

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