The Introvert Party…by Linda Carlblom

As an introvert, I find it tiresome to be social. That doesn’t mean I don’t like it from time to time. I actually love it. After all, humans were made to be in community with each other to experience the richness of life. But introverts need far less socializing than extroverts, and then they need time to recover afterwards.


Most parties are geared toward extroverts. You’re expected to talk, laugh, and interact with those around you. May I suggest an introvert party, one geared to those who like to be with people occasionally, but would like to go home less exhausted?

An introvert party might look like this. Doing puzzle

  1. Guests are invited to come armed with their favorite book or other quiet activity.
  2. Guests may, without guilt, come in, sit down, and start reading or working on their activity.
  3. An area of quiet socializing can be established where it won’t be a distraction to those wanting to do their quiet activity. People may freely come and go in said area.
  4. Snacks will be set out for people to get whenever they want. No set schedule here.
  5. Texting is permitted—even within the room—with other guests, as it is the introvert’s preferred way of communicating.
  6. Soft, soothing instrumental music plays in the background.
  7. A TV or movie might be on in another room for guests to watch together.
  8. Guests may leave as soon as they want to. No pressure to stay the extroverted amount of time.
  9. Quiet companionship is the name of the game.
  10. Suggested activities: Journaling, drawing, reading, working puzzles (jigsaw, crosswords, sudoku, etc.), needlework, watching movies/TV, playing a video/computer game with the sound off or earphones plugged in, painting, coloring in adult coloring books, napping.

jigsaw puzzle table

Now that’s a party I could get into. I know I’ll get two types of responses to this idea. The first will be something like, “That’s what’s wrong with this world. We’ve forgotten how to interact and this only perpetuates that.” The second will be along the lines of, “Yes! I’d attend this party in a heartbeat. Our world is overstimulated and it would be great to have a place to be quiet, even with friends.”

couple readingSome might ask, “What’s the point of a party like this?” (I’m guessing this would be an extrovert.) Here’s the thing. I once was in a family counseling session and told the counselor that I sometimes go in another room just to read in a quieter space. Another family member sometimes joined me with a book of her own. The counselor asked me a question that I’d never considered. “Do you feel a connection to that person when you’re both in the same room reading?” I had to think for a moment. Yes. Yes I did! You really can connect on a fairly deep level without speaking or getting in someone’s space. It was a revelation to me. The point of an introvert party is to connect with others in introverted ways, which are every bit as relevant as the ways extroverts relate.

I think both introverts and extroverts could get into this, at least once in a while. After all, introverts have been long-suffering in attending extrovert parties since the beginning of time. I say let’s create some balance.

Where do you stand? What other introverted activities would you add to the list?


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21 Responses to The Introvert Party…by Linda Carlblom

  1. Jean Fischer says:

    You knew that I would love this post, Linda, didn’t you? An introvert party sounds like so much fun! Please invite me to yours. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. centralcitieschurch says:

    You just described every writer’s conference I’ve ever been to. That’s one reason I love them so much! I get to interact with people like me!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Canuck Carl says:

    This is such a novel concept. I love it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. sharibarr says:

    Now this is my kind of party! One thing I would add is having a place where people can talk one on one about a deep subject rather than endless chatter. I feel it is so draining to just sit and try to make small talk for hours on end. Great post, Linda. Nice to know that somebody gets me. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Linda Carlblom says:

      Yes, Shari! That would be a wonderful addition to any introvert party. Small talk is so hard and exhausting. There could even be deep topic ideas posted to get the conversation started. Thanks for this great idea!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this idea…great job, Linda!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Andrea R Huelsenbeck says:

    Date and time, please?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I would like to come to your party, because I know I’d like it. I would work on a jigsaw puzzle for half an hour, spend most of the time talking to anyone in the talk area, and end up writing about the experience until the party fizzled out or I was offered a bed to sleep the night.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This is a great idea. My job forces me to be social and it is exhausting. Something like this would be the perfect decompression on the weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Can I come to your party? I could really, really use some down time.


  10. Pingback: The Introvert Party…by Linda Carlblom – hergraceslibrary

  11. Lynn Coleman says:

    This is such a great post. It has given me ideas of hosting a party like this in Spokane, however, the only introverts I know who live here are………exactly………..myself. LOL.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Linda Carlblom says:

      Haha, Lynn. Although, I’ve sometimes thought I was the only introvert and then was surprised to learn of others who are. We often have good social skills that we use when we need to, thus covering up our introvertedness. But when I post stuff like this, I’m amazed at some of the people who say they relate or would love a party like this. Feel free to share this on FB (or wherever) and see who responds. You may have more introvert friends than you know! LOL.


  12. Yes! This is so accurate. I like socializing but it’s exhausting. If I went out last night, I really want to stay home for the next 2 or 3 nights. It’s not that I don’t like people or have fun when I go out – I just NEED alone time. I had a housemate once who said to me “I love that you and I can just sit in the same room together and be perfectly happy without needing to talk.” I knew that she was going to be a lifelong friend after that comment.

    Liked by 1 person

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