A Mother’s Olympics, Part Two, by Betty Mason Arthurs

Little boy and flags

Part Two:  A Mother’s Olympics by Betty Mason Arthurs

Elementary School Track and Field

Track and Field experience is a must to help mothers through elementary years. You pole vault them over the first day of school with cute lunches, cute outfits, and cute sneakers. After the first week of school, piles of homework take over the kitchen table. Planetary science projects make you race 1000 meters to gather supplies before the store closes. By this age your training in begging God for divine help wins you the shot put competition…heave ho.

A close friend told me the story of her struggle with her lazy fourth grade daughter. Peggy’s darling never brought school work home and no amount of discipline ever moved her to change. The teacher and Peggy hatched up a scheme. For a week Peggy sat behind her daughter in her classroom. Vanessa wasn’t embarrassed enough to change. Years later Peggy found out her daughter told classmates, “Mommy’s doing research.” Mother’s revenge is on the move since Vanessa now has three daughters.

Use your Gold Medal winnings to buy yourself designer glasses because after long sessions of helping with illegible homework, if your child brings it home, your eyesight is shot.

Middle School Volleyball

Get ready to volley through the ups and downs of mood swings, yours and theirs. Serve them unconditional love every day even as you drop them off a block away from school because you are an embarrassing mother. Train them to spike the ball and block every cruel comment made about them by their peers.

I’ve heard some parents have used extreme sports to train their tweens. “If you behave badly at school I will attend school with you wearing my bathrobe and plaid socks with slippers.” Add purple sponge curlers to the outfit. Better yet, drop them off at the school’s front door, jumping out to hug and kiss them goodbye. Trust me, this is really fun so I’ve heard and may be very effective in behavior modification. I did many stupid, funny things to my kids and they still speak to me.

You deserve three Gold Medals for just competing in the Middle School event.

High School 800 Meter Relay

You should no longer call your kids “children.” They are high school young people about to set out on the race of their lives. You must expertly pass them the coveted baton for driving, for selecting a career, for finding a job, choosing a college, and not choosing a college. Keep calm if they desire a career as a rock climber, sky diver, or alligator wrestler. You may want to go on a cruise and send them off to live in the swamps of Florida with your brother. Not really, but it’s a nice thought. You haven’t competed all these years in Mom Olympics to give up on your babies, excuse me, young persons.

I am donating all my Gold Medals in loving memory to my beloved parents since they deserve them more than I do. Today I wonder how did my parents, Willard and Lois, married in 1936, remain sane after raising three children? My husband and I only raised two, who are miraculously fine, outstanding citizens. We passed them the batons and after training us in the world of PCs, they compete in their own Father and Mother Olympics.

Grandmother Olympics

Today, thanks to my two offspring birthing seven children, I am in Grandmother Olympics. Grandson Trevor was in third grade and he asked me, “Wanna see my report, Gammy? Wait! Can you read cursive?” I was a nincompoop 46 years-ago with my first newborn and it’s come back to dissolve my Olympic aspirations. Trevor and my other grandchildren, are also helping me navigate through the maze of internet events such as Facebook, e-mails, X-box, Kindles, Wifi, Netflix, Amazon, etc., etc. But the thrill of victory is near with super intelligent athletes known as Gold Medal Grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Will you share some of your special motherhood Olympic events with me? Memories and the ability to laugh at them brings healing, don’t you think?

 

 

 

 

 

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About Betty Mason Arthurs

I have been the CEO of my family for years...translation: I'm a wife, mother, grandmother, owned by two cats, and often drive my husband crazy. I have belonged to Tuesday's Children for over 20 years and without them my writing skill would have been left in rejection piles all across America. I am a non-fiction author who has leaped into novel writing and having fun in my memories of nursing school in the 1960s. We'll see if I can do an e-book with the adventures of my first novel. I am a Christian who isn't perfect but loves the Lord Jesus and I never take much that happens too seriously due to my weird sense of humor. And I'll talk about my seven grandchildren nonstop if you want me to. Blessings on all of you.
This entry was posted in Babies, Children's MInistry, Christian Living, Doing Life Together, Life Transitions, Love, Teaching, Teenagers, Uncategorized, United States of America and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to A Mother’s Olympics, Part Two, by Betty Mason Arthurs

  1. My husband and I are spectators now. Our two grandsons live 800 miles away, so we don’t qualify for competition. I like reading about yours, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No fun living so far away…long distance grandparents. How do you stay in touch?

    Like

    • Both boys text me, and John calls them about once a week. We had a marvelous summer with both of them here with us for a couple of months. Until two years ago, when we moved to NC, we saw them every other weekend and sometimes in between. We felt we had to leave Long Island because of the crushing real estate taxes. Cell phones are our best friends!

      Like

  3. Wonderful how you stay connected. Thx for sharing.

    Like

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