Not by the Hair of my Chinny Chin Chin…by ARHuelsenbeck

When I was a little girl, our school nurse had a mole on her cheek with a hair growing out of it. I often wondered why she just didn’t pluck it out.

Now it’s nearly sixty years later, and after having cataract surgery, I finally understand.

She never saw it.

I wore glasses for myopia from the time I was ten years old. Gradually, my lenses grew so thick I could hardly find frames hefty enough to hold them. Then my sight became cloudy, and I thought I would have to surrender my driver’s license and give up my job. Fortunately, I passed (failed?) the glare test, which qualified me to have surgery covered by my medical insurance.

With plastic lenses implanted in my eyes, my vision is nearly 20/20 for the first time in my life—for distance. I have to wear glasses to read and to sew, but that’s a happy trade-off for me.

Photo by torgakhopper on flickr

Image by torgakhopper on flickr.

What I didn’t realize, though, is that with or without glasses I can no longer see whiskers on my face and neck, until one day my husband said, “I’m so sorry about your mustache.”

“Huh? What mustache?”

“Your mustache. It must be so embarrassing for you.”

What was truly embarrassing was finding out I had one.

Sometimes when I’m in the car and look at the little mirror on the visor, I’ll see whiskers on my chin and neck. Ew!

But when I get home again and march to the bathroom mirror to yank them out, they’ve vanished. Invisible.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASometimes if I turn my head just so—there it is! An inch long, waving in the breeze. But do you think I could grab it with my tweezers? No way. I try and try and try, but my eye-hand coordination on mirror images is not what it used to be. Getting old is for the birds.

Do you remember the scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the mother of the bride has her sister tweezing her stray whiskers? I laughed when I first saw it. Now I wish I had a sister.



About Andrea R Huelsenbeck

Andrea R Huelsenbeck is a wife, a mother of five and a former elementary general music teacher. A freelance writer in the 1990s, her nonfiction articles and book reviews appeared in Raising Arizona Kids, Christian Library Journal, and other publications. She is currently working on a young adult mystical fantasy novel and a mystery.
This entry was posted in Aging, Doing Life Together, Humor, Marriage and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Not by the Hair of my Chinny Chin Chin…by ARHuelsenbeck

  1. I’m torn. I’m feeling sympathy and amusement about this hairy subject. Years ago I saw someone on a regular basis, and she had hairs sprouting from her chin. Once I noticed them, that’s always where my eyes were drawn. It’s a sad byproduct of aging. When it happened on my face, I used John’s razor once a week.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Linda Carlblom says:

    Oh, gosh, Andrea, this cracked me up! I can just hear Greg saying he was so sorry about your mustache. LOL! Well written, and a good laugh to start my day. P.S. I’ll be your sister if you want. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hilarious post. Thanks for the laughs. I need a sister too!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the laugh and by the way the little tweezers in the very small Swiss knife works
    Perfect and yes always do it in the car lol

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tom Sanders says:

    That was really funny, Andrea!! I’m going to read it to Kimberly. Thank you for those thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. MNL says:

    yeah, funny and sad. I can’t see mine most times but I can feel them. So I feel them with the finger on my left hand and then my right hand tries to pluck in the vicinity. I’m getting better at it but the odds are still high they escape!

    Liked by 1 person

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